Better Days Ahead
The good news is that I have come to believe what may be the most important and hopeful truth I have learned so far: life can get better and easier over time.
I remember a conversation from my early career that stayed with me. I was an analyst then, struggling because there was so much to learn. I do not remember exactly how the conversation unfolded, but at some point a manager said, “You know, it doesn’t get easier.” At the time, it seemed true. Years later, however, I can say that, in my experience, it does.
The work became easier for me. I improved. I became more confident, stronger, and more capable. I learned how to handle challenges, and I was no longer as afraid as I once had been. Responsibility may increase with age, but that does not mean life cannot get better.
Now, as I move through my thirties, I can see this more clearly. Life may become more complex, but complexity is not the same as helplessness. Over time, we accumulate tools, experience, perspective, and resilience. We may not control everything that happens, but we become better at navigating whatever life brings.
What the Happiness Curve Helped Me See
Reading Jonathan Rauch’s The Happiness Curve helped me make sense of many of my own observations and questions about life. The idea that well-being often follows a U-shaped pattern across adulthood resonated deeply with me.
I have also seen more recent research suggesting that this pattern has changed in some countries, with younger people now reporting lower well-being than older adults. But that is not the part that interests me most.
What I really want to know is whether the curve continues to rise through the rest of life. And if it does, what causes that upward trend?
In my twenties, I was somewhat naive about what life was and what it would become. The world itself was much the same as it is now. What changed was my perspective. Youth brings a special kind of excitement, partly because we have not yet seen everything as clearly as we eventually will.
Looking back, perhaps there was less to be excited about than I believed. Yet my life today is better than it was in my twenties. Being unaware of something does not mean it does not exist. It simply means we have not yet learned to see it clearly.
What gives me the most hope, however, is the U shape itself. If the pattern holds, the second half of life may bring a deeper sense of contentment than the first. That possibility alone brings me a sense of joy.
What Causes the Upward Turn?
A few years ago, I went to a neurologist because I thought I must have a neurological disease. He told me I was having a midlife crisis. At the time, I was not even sure what I was going through. I had a good life and very little to complain about, yet I often felt dissatisfied. I had many of the things I thought I wanted, but somehow they did not feel like enough.
Why did I feel that way? And what might help life turn upward again?
I think it has something to do with maturity: accepting the past and learning to enjoy things more. Living intentionally rather than doing things just because we think we should. Practicing joy and spending more time doing what we truly like.
If that is true, then the second half of the curve is not something that simply happens to us. It is something we actively participate in. At least, I hope so. And I hope there are no more deep valleys ahead.
For me, the reason to believe in the upward trend is intentionality. It is doing more of what I like, planting seeds of joy, and actively making life better. It is taking better care of my health, building stronger relationships, doing better work, and continuing to grow.
A Different Kind of Happiness
Rauch argues that part of the upward trend comes from lowered expectations and a growing satisfaction with what we already have. There is something appealing about that idea. In my case, however, the problem is not that I am chasing something more. I already have the essentials of a good life, and I do not want to change it drastically.
What I may need are new outlets for curiosity and growth, perhaps different kinds of work, creative projects, or pursuits undertaken simply because they are enjoyable.
The happiness Rauch describes in later life seems different from the happiness of youth. It is calmer, steadier, and less dependent on excitement. The thought that such contentment may still lie ahead feels almost astonishing.
I know people who started serious businesses in their late fifties, and I used to wonder where their motivation and energy came from. After reflecting on these ideas, I think I understand them better. Perhaps later life does not simply ask us to settle. Perhaps it gives us a renewed capacity to act, create, and care, this time with more perspective and less fear.
It may really be true that it is never over. Life may continue to improve with age, not because the past returns, but because a different and perhaps deeper kind of happiness becomes possible.
Inspired by Jonathan Rauch’s The Happiness Curve.
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