Why Getting Better Gives Us Energy and Meaning
I had a grandmother who lived to be 95. For most of her life, she had a positive outlook. But in her final years, she often hoped for death. When we asked why, she would say:
“It just keeps getting worse and worse, and there is no way to get better.”
She was referring to her health and its natural decline with age.
Her words made me realize that getting better in different areas of life is one of the things that gives life meaning. By “getting better,” I simply mean growing in some way. That growth can take almost any form.
We can grow in many areas throughout our lives. In fact, growth in just one meaningful area can be enough to give us a deep sense of fulfillment.
Why Growth Feels So Good
As adults, growth is often closely tied to our careers. We spend our twenties and thirties learning, improving, and advancing in our careers. At some point, however, many of us start looking for growth elsewhere too. For me, that happened with my health.
In my thirties, I began paying closer attention to my health and what I could do better. It turned into quite a journey. I learned many new things, got to know myself much better, and saw real improvements, both mentally and physically. The process itself became rewarding.
I know people who barely exercised before they turned 50 but later became lean, fit, and energetic. They transformed themselves because they kept learning and improving. Seeing the results of your efforts is powerful. It becomes fuel for life.
Growth in Our Relationships
People can also get better at relationships. Maybe they neglected that area for years, but eventually they decide they want deeper connections and are willing to work on them. By learning how to socialize, practicing empathy, and becoming more present for others, they can build stronger friendships and more meaningful relationships.
I say “practicing empathy” on purpose because I believe empathy can be developed. Growth in our relationships, just like growth in any other area, produces real and rewarding results.
Growth Through Hobbies and Work
We can also grow through our hobbies.
For example, I recently returned to writing. With every post, I can feel myself improving, not only as a writer but also in the way I think. I know people who began artistic projects after retirement and even turned them into successful businesses. What a wonderful experience that must be: discovering a new passion, getting better at it, and creating value from it.
The beauty of life is that we can keep getting better at something for as long as we have reasonably good health.
Even in the corporate world, growth is one of the strongest motivators. People want promotions, greater responsibility, and new challenges because those things represent progress. They represent becoming better at something.
Maybe we climb the corporate ladder all the way. Maybe we leave it behind at some point and focus our energy elsewhere, on writing, art, fitness, or relationships. The destination may change, but the need for growth remains.
The area itself hardly matters. What matters is the feeling that we are moving forward instead of standing still.
Knowing What You Want
For me, staying in a state of growth is what truly makes us feel alive.
There is, however, a catch to this idea, and I have experienced it myself. At one point in my life, I forgot what I actually liked and, therefore, what I wanted to do.
I remember feeling lost and asking myself, “What is the purpose of all this?” I wrote about that in my first post, Defect in Human Code?. Somewhere along the way, I had lived by routine for so long that I lost touch with what genuinely interested me beyond what might be called an ordinary good life.
That is why it helped me so much when I heard Terri Savelle Foy say on her YouTube channel:
“If you stopped growing, you started dying.”
What I eventually realized was that I needed growth in things that actually brought me joy. I did not need to quit my job as a data professional, which I genuinely enjoy. I needed something additional. Starting this blog and beginning to write my first book gave me exactly that. It recharged me with a different kind of energy.
This raises an important question: What do we actually like?
What would we enjoy getting better at? Our health? A sport? Our profession? A hobby? Our relationships?
Once we know what brings us joy and fulfillment, taking action becomes much easier. Growth is no longer something we force ourselves to do. Instead, it becomes something we naturally want to pursue.
We Live in the Best Time for Growth
One thing life has shown me again and again is how fortunate we are to live in these times. Never before has so much knowledge been available to so many people. The best experts in the world share what they know through books, podcasts, videos, and courses. We can learn almost anything from home.
Every day, we can watch a lecture, read a chapter of a book, listen to an audiobook while exercising, follow a tutorial, join a book club, or read a thoughtful blog post. On top of that, we now have AI tools that allow us to explore subjects in incredible depth, often for free.
These really are wonderful times to be alive.
What Can Stop Growth?
I also think we need to be careful about the people we surround ourselves with. Constructive criticism can be extremely valuable, but constant criticism is something different.
I have experienced how being surrounded by people who continually question, criticize, or dismiss other people’s efforts can slowly erode confidence and enjoyment. When everything is judged, trying new things becomes harder. People stop experimenting. They become afraid of making mistakes. In the worst cases, fear leaves them frozen.
A Reason to Look Forward to Tomorrow
Until I reach the age my grandmother reached, I can see opportunities for growth in almost every stage of life. There will be difficult times, unexpected events, disappointments, and challenges that are completely outside my control.
Yet even in those moments, there are always areas where growth remains possible. We can grow in our relationships, in our knowledge, in our health, in our hobbies, and in the way we respond to life’s challenges.
Perhaps that is why growth gives life so much meaning.
As long as we can still grow in something that matters to us, there is always a reason to look forward to tomorrow.
