How My Blurry Life Vision Came into Focus
It was a beautiful, sunny June day in Morro Jable, Fuerteventura. It was the first time in my life I could afford to stay at an upscale resort. It gave me a sense of success and accomplishment but, strangely enough, also made me feel like an impostor, though I have no idea why. I had been to Fuerteventura many times before and stayed in more affordable hotels, so this trip felt a little special.
After breakfast and coffee at the resort, I set out on my usual long walk along Pájara Beach, which stretches for kilometers. I take this walk whenever I am there, and it is probably one of the most soul-cleansing experiences I know.
It felt wonderful. People passed by on their morning walks. They all looked tan and completely at home in their surroundings. I felt a sense of freedom as the wind blew toward me, and all I could see ahead was sand and the ocean sparkling in the sunlight. Then, out of nowhere, I thought:
“Where are you heading?”
I had only a blurry idea of where I was heading in life. The truth was that I had stopped thinking much about the future at all. Since leaving young adulthood behind (a time when my goals and direction had felt clear), I had no strong desire, meaningful goal to work toward, or vision to strive for.
As I turned around to head back to the hotel, the sun was behind me, so the water no longer sparkled. Instead, I could see it more clearly. Then I thought: This is how I see my past.
It was much more visible than my future and much easier to think about. It took less energy. It felt clearer. When I reached the beach entrance to my hotel, I turned around once more to face the sun. The ocean sparkled again, making it difficult to see into the distance.
I thought: I want to see my sparkling long-term vision for my life and, once and for all, stop letting the past occupy my daily thoughts.
The First Pixels Come into Focus
I thought I would find such a vision quickly. I did not. Years passed, and I still could not see past the sparkle and into the distance. It was incredibly difficult for me to define the kind of life I wanted to live and how I wanted the rest of it to unfold.
I would ask myself: “Okay, Magdalena, what do you like?” And then I would answer: “It seems I have forgotten what I like.” If you, like me, have forgotten what you like and cannot define where you want to be, I have one suggestion: pay attention to what naturally captures your interest.
For me, that meant noticing the things that kept drawing me in. Here are some of them.
Realizing I Am Drawn to Writing
As someone who works in IT, I find that a little funny. Yet I learned to write before I started school, when I was not yet seven, because I spent a lot of time with my grandfather, a retired teacher. I used to write poems in a small notebook.
He would send my poems to local newspapers, and some were even published in the children’s section. Later, I often received feedback at work that I was good at presenting information in a structured way, especially in writing. That was when I decided I wanted to return to writing in one form or another.
One pixel of the blurry vision became clear.
P.S. Can someone explain how a person can work with data in the corporate world and still want to be a writer?
Realizing I Love Personal Reflections and Life Stories
Once, on a four-hour flight, I was pretty bored. I had never really learned how to prepare for a flight in a way that kept my mind occupied. So before the return flight, I bought a magazine at the airport.
As I casually flipped through the pages, one article caught my attention. It was written by a woman reflecting on her decision to have children while many of her friends focused heavily on their careers. It was thoughtful, honest, and beautifully written.
As I read it, I suddenly realized that the flight was nearly over. I had completely lost track of time. That was when I thought: Life stories really do interest me. I want to write about aspects of life that genuinely spark my curiosity. Another pixel became clear.
Realizing That Friendships Inspire Me
If you met me, I would probably want to hear your life story and exchange ideas. I have always enjoyed friendships that go beyond small talk.
When I was younger, I always had close friends. But I think younger people generally have more time and more reasons to spend it together. As I got older, people naturally became more focused on building their own lives, and I suppose I did too.
I do not necessarily need friends who are my age, work in my industry, or share a particular background. I simply enjoy genuinely interesting people, regardless of their stage of life, career, or culture. For me, those kinds of connections enrich life and make it feel more complete. That may well be another pixel.
Realizing That My Surroundings Matter
Who you live with is probably more important than where you live, but the place still matters. One afternoon, while walking through a shopping area in southern Tenerife with a few friends, I sat on a bench to wait for one of them to finish shopping.
As I sat there, I felt unusually at ease in my surroundings. It made me realize that some places simply suit us better than others. That is certainly how I feel about the Canary Islands.
Looking back, I think I have already visited the islands at least ten times, often for several weeks at a time. Now, one of my wishes is to spend up to three months there every year with my boyfriend. That is something truly wonderful to look forward to. Another pixel became clear.
What the Remaining Pixels Will Show
Today, my vision is much clearer than it was before. It has become easier for me to recognize what genuinely draws me in and to move toward it.
I still do not know what the rest of the picture will look like as more pixels come into focus. But perhaps that is part of the charm.
Not seeing the whole picture. Just discovering it, one pixel at a time.
